March 3, 2008

my life in shades of purple

We finally got the mac set up in a cosy corner of our room. mmmmm it is so beautiful. the never ending saga of the photos continues - found the camera cord! but the batteries are dead. ugh. 

one of those days....had a great day at work, achieved heaps, then got home and crashed. I'm blue. The mess in the bedroom and study are driving me mad (we still don't have all our furniture sorted), i have reading from work i should be doing but i can't concentrate.

one of those evenings where i know what i would love to do with my life, you know, when i grow up. Sew. write. design. read. Not give my life over (that's what it feels like at the moment) to working for someone else's cause. 

Which is probably why i was so bummed, and then so very excited, after the two fairs on the weekend. Because i know i can do it. 

but for now, tim has bob dylan playing, i'm sitting on the bed lit by the glow of fairy lights and the computer screen, starting, finally, to relax. I can give myself a break. I'm doing ok. in fact, if i think about it, i'm doing more than ok, i just don't cut myself enough slack to give myself any credit for it. Kind of like i'm faking it. If stuff sells, surely it isn't because people like it? and if something clicks at work, surely it isn't because of my hard slog? And even though i've achieved this and that, all i can think of are all the other things i want to be doing - like having the energy to go for a run, or make something different for dinner for once, or to stay out late on the weekend with my friends. Catch up with friends full stop, even.

there's always tomorrow. huh, or is there?

No comments: