lady of leisureness

I just realised I won't be near a computer again for the rest of the day, so had to do my daily post now. When pretty much all i've done since the last one is knit and sew. but mainly sleep.

what i want to know - who stole summer? where has it gone?

For those who think a lady of leisure does nothing more than sleep in, mooch around, and then go to bed again, today's schedule looks like this:

up at 7.30am (ugh yuck)

pack stuff to go from coffee to gym to drinks (read: bag lady for the day)

start some knitting so i have something to show for myself at coffee

8.55am - blog

9am - leave house

10am - coffee (to teach a guy how to knit. never met the guy. feels like a really weird blind date. more on that later)

post coffee - mooch round town and maybe do some much needed christmas browsing, which will probably lead to purchasing of presents for self

12.15pm - spin class

2pm - drinks

4pm - train to Khandallah for further drinks and christmas festivities

ohh ok. it's a tough life.

too many ideas for a title

let me try and grab just a few thoughts dashing around my head...

Nikki: i am absolutely up for some man picking.

As she recently blogged -how do you blog abut relationships? The boy has now been officially not the boy for about 4 months. After 3 years, i surprised even myself at how well i've dealt with it. hmm, the strangeness of life.

I've just returned home to a dinner of burritos from the Maiden addresses of a friend and some other new MPs. My goodness, it was inspiring. I have recently turned from the 'i'm not a feminist but...' mantra to the 'this is what a frigging feminist looks like' club. It is so fantastic to see so many vibrant, intelligent women sitting on the government benches. And finally, finally, there are MPs whom i feel i can personally relate to. I can look at the left line-up and say, yes, i feel they absolutely represent me. Too bad they're in opposition.

Speaking of yesterday's need for an ego-boost, apparently i'm interesting. I'll let you know how it goes after tomorrow. In the meantime - yes, Sue i'm about to go and do some work for you. Another wee project yet to be unveiled. It seems so many things are happening so very quickly and i'm trying to catch my breath. It is all thanks to wonderful people such as Sue - you are awesome my dear. mwahs!

an epic post. oh yeah.

(the 'love, me' bit is there because for some reason i was thinking about Meredith's speech to Derek about how he should pick her over Addison when  i was embroidering ...)


right, so clearly this life of leisure has not resulted in an increase in blog posts. So i shall do the WHOLE two past weeks of my life via bullet-pointing:

• i turned 25. i rather like the number, and hope it will be better than 24 
• i fell UP the stairs at my party and got an awesome bruise on my knee
• one of my old friends who had just got back from the UK came to my party (yay!)
• i sat in the sunshine
• i started going to spinning classes (as in biking). they're amazing.
• i completed an entire game of indoor netball without feeling remotely puffed, just hot.
• i sewed
• i burned my finger on a bowl i was taking out of the microwave. Said bowl says 'microwave safe' on its bottom. my ass
• i went out and got fabulously drunk with the awesome people from the Wellingtonista. They are cool.
• i sold the car (yuss! more life of leisureness for me)
• i had the best cupcake ever from Tempt at Smith the Grocer
• i missed out on the last of the cheap one way tickets to london so am stuck here til march still. i was hoping to change it to beginning of feb. oh well
• i got addicted to Parliament TV. like a crack whore, only with politics
• i was in a car accident. i banged my head, got a bruise on my arm, climbed out of my dad's car and people stood around looking at me to make it all better. for once, just for once, i wanted not to be the person who takes control of a situation. but i did, and turning around to see the brother of a good friend right next me when i needed someone, and giving him a giant hug, somehow got me through the waiting for police bit. There are several parts i distinctly remember - like staring at this other person heading straight for me and knowing that there was no way of avoiding IT from happening. For legal reasons i probably shouldn't say more. i'm a safe driver is probably the best way of putting it.

And now i'm thinking i could either get all morose and grumpy about how crap the past year has been (like i have been the past couple of days) or i could make frigging lemonade. I pick lemonade. 

This coming week sees me having coffees, going to spinning, sewing, knitting, tidying, and starting to think about Christmas. I haven't begun my Christmas shopping, and i'm thinking i might just not. In my old age i'm getting a bit anti-materialistic and so i'm going to attempt to make all my presents. 

In order to not feel so slack on the web front, i'm going to try and post everyday til Christmas. oooer, now there's a challenge...

Promises

One of my best friends in living the good life in gay Paris. Well, she's au pairing and struggling on the language front a little, and missing home. So when i asked if she'd like a wee knitted present, she immediately requested grey mittens. 

righty-o.

i can't seem to find any nice, slim fitting mitten patterns. I don't like how most are quite bulky. ick. 

So i'm going for fingerless gloves, considering by the time they get to her, it'll probably be spring.

Wandering round knit world lately hasn't been particularly inspiring, and then i remembered South Seas Knitting. 

oh dear.

Seeing as i'm on a budget, i'm thinking this pattern in this yarn with these needles. i think i'm drooling on the keyboard. yummmmmmmmmm

On another front, it is list writing day. On that list is going to be 'stop drinking so much'. Not really hungover today but i can tell my body is unhappy with all the liver abuse that has been going on. So post-birthday (next week!), the aim is to drink as little as possible. and seriously this time. 

Liar, liar, pants on fire

I just lied. LIED people. it's eating me up. It doesn't feel at all good.

Scenario:

1 pregnant flatmate. 1 very unpregnant leaseholder flatmate. 2 other flatmates. Only leaseholder flatmate, apparently, knows how to clean, and has been doing so for the past week, to compensate for distinct lack of cleaning activity over past 4 months.

1 pregnant flatmate sends text to newly unemployed leaseholder flatmate (me) at the unholy hour of 7.30am this morning. To say:

um, want to talk to you as i've put my name down for a flat in case baby comes early. I've put your name down as referee. (what??!). Said i can move in a month, but would like to talk to you about it.

ok...have a minor stress and then to think happy problem-resolving thoughts.

I shall talk to my landlord and see if we can get out of the lease 5 weeks early (hopefully they will be understanding, and it will save me some rent).

Right, ok, can deal with that.

I spend the day pleasantly, watching Grey's Anatomy, knitting, walking to Lyall Bay for coffee and then sewing.

Phone rings.

Hello?

Hi this blah blah from blah blah property management. [Pregnant flatmate] said i could call you as she's put her name down for a flat.

mhhmmm.

so, what is she like as a tenant?

oh, she's ok. I don't have any problems with her. (semi-true. she's a nice person most of the time)

So how would you say she is on the clean and tidy front?

oh, she's fine. i don't have any problems with her (She has left hair dye all over the bathroom which has stained the new lino, and i have seen her wipe a bench. once. i just threw out two bags of mouldy mouldy bread so green you couldn't tell it was bread any longer)

And um, how about paying rent?

oh, she's fine, i've never had any problems with her (again! missed her very first rent payment when she moved in, and completely forgot to do it again last week)

is that all?

yep. she's fine.

hmm. i thought blogging about it would make me feel better. Apparently not. I am, though, much too nice for my own good. 

sigh.

Grey's Anatomy therapy - part 2.0

Yesterday I left my office for the last time. I didn't really want to leave. I kinda liked my job. I really liked the people I worked with, and the endlessly dynamic environment.

As i got in my car to go, the cathedral bells tolled. How appropriate.

I had coffee at the Dowse, and wandered round the 17th Annual Wallace Art Award exhibition. I love the Wallace exhibition. I wrote notes - which will become the next blog post.

At my parents', i sat on the couch and put on season one of Grey's Anatomy. Ahhh, bliss. Having already covered off season two and three a couple of months ago, it's quite nice to watch episodes where Meredith and McDreamy's relationship is still entertaining. Mmmm McDreamy. I could do with one of those.

Complete, unadulterated pop culture. It makes me laugh, it makes me cry, it frustrates me and makes me think. Best of all, it makes me feel better.

I'd like to teach the world to sing

I was going to comment on Nikki's latest post, but then came up with too much to say.

My two cents is (are?) this:

I was brought up in a Roman Catholic home and all my schooling bar two years at intermediate was at Catholic integrated schools. I can't remember the last time i went to mass, but walking into a church, no matter the denomination, it always seems like a great weight is lifted off my shoulders. 

I can remember when i first realised that some people had no concept of the 'treat others as you would like to be treated' idea. While i have absolutely no claim on being saintly, this is one of my most fundamental rules of how i go about my daily business. It regularly surprises that people aren't quite sure how to take it. There have been people who have taken advantage of my generous nature, and times when i wonder why i bother. 

What it comes down to is that while i don't go to church, and haven't picked up a bible in a very long time, the values i was brought up with are a central part of who i am.  They aren't all unique to the Catholic faith, but in the argument of nature vs nurture, in this one nurture wins.

Something that really bothers me is all the conflicts caused by religion. War in the name of values and beliefs is in my mind completely contradictory. I would never force what i believe on anyone else, and resent those who try and force theirs on me.

So the simple answer to Nikki's question, i think, is yes. I know people from all backgrounds and beliefs and have no problem with it. Conversations around religion can be fascinating so long as the participants are prepared to look at the argument from all angles. 

I have a friend who is a one-eyed National Party supporter. We had one conversation (read: argument) this year about politics and she refused to consider or even attempt to understand  the left point of view. So I refused to argue with her, and we now have a rule to not talk politics. 

What i'm trying to get at is that we need to be prepared to accept that people have differing opinions and perspectives. Religion, politics, it's all the same really. I have great respect for my Nat voting friend and actually think she'd make an amazing politician. We look at the world completely differently and yet we get on like a house on fire. 

Not sure if that makes any sense whatsoever. It seems kind of simplistic and idealistic in the end - let's all just like each other even if we don't believe the same things.  Just like Coke would like to.

i'm baaaack and revealing some little secrets.

Whew. That was mad. Still is, in an end-of-school, it's almost Christmas, don't have a job  much longer sort of way.

Secret number one: I worked in the office of the guy who won in this electorate in the weekend.

ok so that's my only secret really. and lots of people knew it already. It meant lots of very long days, weekends, and actually quite a lot of drinking to keep me sane (is that a contradiction or what?). 

But it was a total blast. Working in the office has been amazing - I have met some incredible people, been to some pretty cool places (even if they were only in the Hutt) and have a new appreciation of our society. 

I even got to hang out with the now former PM a couple of times. And get her coffee. Oh the exciting life I lead.

But now my boss heads into opposition and I have plans of my own. 

I am free to head off into the big wide world and take advantage of the perks of my Dutch passport. So my plan moving forward is to do a whole pile of work on this project, be a starving artist for a few months until my lease expires, and then jump on a plane to London.

It also means i have much more time for blogging. 

So tonight, Matthew, I have some random bullet points:

• I don't drink coffee. I now have a two-a-day habit. My little walk across the road to Green Land below the Ministry for the Environment building is a little ray of sunshine. They are awesome. Try their afghans.
• I am going to run every day now i have the time. I am slightly more round post-campaign and none too happy about it
• I love voting.
• I love sleeping.
• I finally got my socialising groove back. I know some pretty damn cool people, and am so lucky to get to hang out with them.
• I'm sad to be back at my flat and no longer have the daily company of my family (hi mum!), who fed me and gave me a bed to sleep in for the last two weeks, and then put up with grumpy me on sunday morning.
• I love taking photos and am determined to carry my camera everywhere with me from now on.
• I think a nation is measured by the way it treats its most vulnerable. And i'm concerned the new government won't treat them so well. But good luck to them. I'll be back in 2.5 years to help win the next campaign.

i love...

as it's one of those nice cruisy saturdays, i'm dropping by with a list:

things i love:

• fabric
• pattern
• colour
• graffiti
• freesias
• black and white photography
• fluro pink nail polish
• knee high socks
• daydreaming
• borrowing cds from the library 
• my friends
• watching endless episodes of Grey's Anatomy
• the new World Sweet World mag
• and right now...being me.

Hiatus

I have a little song, it goes like this:

My time is not my own

My time, no it's not my own

no my time isn't my own

oh my time, is not my owwwwwnnnn

I knew it was coming, and the past three days have proved that it is finally upon me. So i'm going to suck it up, and embrace with both arms. 

For the next three months or so i'm incredibly unlikely to find much time for myself. And even if i do, i doubt i'll want to be anywhere near a computer. Hopefully time at home will be spent going for runs, taking baths, reading and knitting or sewing. I came home from work very cranky and so went straight back out the door and went for a run. I feel so much better for it. Sitting hunched in front of a screen doesn't make me feel so good. 

I'll post when i finish thermal (this weekend, all going to plan).

And i'll still loiter, i'm not going to go so far as stopping myself from reading blogs...there just won't be so much action here.

But for now, i'm going to indulge myself in Dance Dance Dance by Haruki Murakami. I've been wanting to read a book of his, any book, for ages. And i am seriously impressed. It's fantastic so far.

Expletives to follow

I am ready to have a big fuck off tanty. Evidently with lots of swearing.

I am so done with flatmates. I am so sick of being the leaseholder and therefore responsible for paying rent if someone leaves. I am so sick of people taking advantage. I am sick of fussy people who have no idea. I am sick of the stupid women who work in my office and talk shit all day and have the productivity levels of sloths. 

Have i mentioned that i asked horrible flatmate to move out? Yay for that! he's gone! And i thought i'd found a lovely lovely new crafty relaxed flatmate. She moved in, put her cute stuff around the house, and then decided to move out because the room gave her asthma. She said it was damp. She has a ventilation duct right into her room, it isn't mouldy, it gets the sun - all things that are hard to find in wellington. 

You'd think she would have considered the fact that all her stuff had been in storage for months and would be all nice and dusty. I think the real story is she found somewhere else. And now she wants her bond back straight away, when i've just paid out someone else's, am already paying rent for two rooms and now have to find someone else to go into that room. Talk about fucked off. And of course i'm too nice to say no, she has to wait until i get paid or get someone else in the room.

I am tired, I know have to clean the flat for people to come round tomorrow night, and i am seriously not in the mood to play nice Tash and hope that someone else wants to move in.

Besides that, i now have two highly irritating women working in my office instead of just one. I have to listen to them talk crap all day (one has an extremely high opinion of herself) and am painfully aware that they aren't remotely productive and aren't actually doing the job very well. It makes it so hard to concentrate and get my own work done, especially when i'm already tired and stressed by other things. 

It's all bad enough that I just want to call my mum and have her make everything better. 

Work. Is. mad. I. Am. tired. 

mulled wine, hot fire and dinner to decide upon.

still not sleeping well. boo. 

but snowboarding sunday. Yay. 

that is all. 

Epiphanies and feeling uber zen

I had a crappy weekend. I felt crappy. Not sick, just really super tired. And then I couldn't sleep at night. boo hoo. 

I knew something was wrong when late saturday afternoon I thought, 'I can't wait to go back to work and do this and this and this'. Uh oh. 

Not having slept very well I got a bit cranky and then took it out on the boy on Sunday. He left, I felt bad, and then had some very good thinking time. 

How long has it taken me to realise that men and women are different. Take me (female) for example. I went to an all girls secondary school and had a group of friends that were super competitive and super smart (i was the average one). We were always pushing ourselves and each other to do that much better. Five years of that and i was a lost cause - i'm a hard out. I figure there is no point doing something unless you are going to do it properly and efficiently. I drive myself nuts with it all the time, especially when i'm sitting at work thinking i could have done something much better, much sooner, when really i doubt that anyone else has even noticed. 

The problem with this is that because i have such incredibly high standards of myself, i tend to expect the same of everyone else. Which is unfair. And the person it is most unfair on, is the boy. 

The boy is a youngest child. Something that to me is glaringly obvious every day. He's a total cruiser, anything that can be put off til tomorrow will be, and quite often he doesn't think of how what he does will affect anyone else. Because i suppose, when he was growing up, he got away with everything and noone really worried about him. His parents had probably figured that all the others turned out ok, surely he will too with much less effort.  

He makes up for that with grand gestures - i always get the most amazing presents and surprises from him.  Whereas i make lots of little gestures constantly. 

So the big deal was this: now that we don't live together, i want to hang out with him all the time because i adore being round him. He, on the other hand, just carries on with life as always and knows i'm there if he needs me. Which makes me cranky. 

Until yesterday.

1. He probably doesn't want to hang with me cos i get cranky all the time (duh.)

2. I need to chill out, relax and just let him be him (also, duh)

3. Stop being such a relationship control freak. It's still a relationship even if I don't see him for five days. (yep, that would be duh)

And i feel so much better. I'll be the first to admit it's going to be hard to change some very old habits. But I also need to spend more time looking after myself. Part of that is not sweating the small stuff, and really, it is pretty small stuff. I don't really need the extra stress of being grumpy at the boy because he isn't living my super high standards.

The other reason i'm feeling uber zen right now is that i just got back from playing indoor netball and i feel freaking amazing. Endorphins, anyone? I sleep way better when i've had some exercise in a day, so i think i might start getting up earlier in the morning and going for a run before work. Or after work. Even if it's raining. Because it makes me feel so much better, and boy i'm going to need to be on top of the game for the coming months. 

Happy: i went for a run! And i got flowers! from the boy! and i got to hang with the boy! 

Created: hmmm, clean clothes. and endorphins, and as always, stitches.

Treat: burger fuel. more than covers the effort in the run, methinks

No Grump: decided to change the outlook to 'positive' when dealing with flatmates re: giant power bill. we'll see how it goes. The bit that drives me nuts is that no matter how nicely i ask, it's still their decision to be more power conscious. So the bill is in their hands...

I am in two minds about what to do with fave flatmate leaving. I'm not sure i can really be bothered finding a new one, to be honest. I go up the mountain for a whole week on sunday and she leaves as soon as i get back, which isn't really helpful in the time frame situation. So maybe i'll sit on it for a while and make up my mind when i get back. though it will mean paying quite a bit of extra rent. 

I'm at the point where my whole life feels a bit consumed by flat stress. So the focus is going to shift to craft: much, much more craft. I think it's time for the hottie, bed and my knitting. Thermal is on standby, which is a bummer as i hoped it would be finished by the time we went back up the mountain. Instead I seem to be replacing it with lots of little knitted projects...all will be revealed, one day...

Happy: Wandering around the waterfront for hours in the sunshine. Knitting in public. People-watching. Taking photos

Created: soon, pumpkin soup, and plenty of stitches, as always

Treat: G&Ts with the boy at Ohtel

No grump: nothing. really...except maybe that it's monday tomorrow...but i'm not thinking about it :)

The concrete poetry around the waterfront really pulls at me...each one resonates for some reason, the words, the textures, the true descriptions of what wellington is...and you really, truly can't beat wellington on a good day.

happy happy joy joy

um yep, it's late. so this covers two days...

Happy: not having anywhere to go or anything to do last night, so hung around drinking with work peeps. got hideously drunk and decided it would be a great idea to go to the boy's house, climb into his bed and fall asleep all without him knowing. He was in his room, bummer, but put up with me all the same...and then cooked me bacon and eggs for breakfast. Much happiness also from snuggling under a blankie on the couch knitting, then met up with Nikki for coffee and more knitting. Couldn't get better really. 

Created: Plenty of stitches

Treat: Relaxing! Properly for once...

No grump: ummmm oh  could have got seriously grumpy about the price of petrol. Solved that by deciding that my low car use can get even lower. I drive it on Mondays to indoor netball, and around about on the weekend, and that's pretty much it. What i'd like to work out is the cost comparison of driving to town on the weekends to catching the bus, which is $4 all up. hmmm.

Happy-ness

Happy: a loverly evening hanging out with my boy, some super duper exciting news (all hush hush) and seeing THE most fantastic print in the window of Eyeball Kicks on my way home. it is mine. I am almost beyond caring what it costs...shall see if i feel the same tomorrow when i call them and find out the real price...

Created: stitches, soon

for someone else: bought the boy dinner, and treated him to my fabulous company, ha. Oh actually, i treated him a dollar to play pacman on/in the table at Midnight Espresso

Treat: a G&T for moi

No grump: am struggling with this - the power bill arrived, it's an estimate, i checked the meter, and yep, next month is going to be mega again. This month is still pretty bad. It's the last thing i need to stress about, again. But my dad is an engineer (read: anal) and has always been involved in the electricity sector, which means transferred anality about things like turning off lights. So this power issue is like cheese grating my face. painful. hmm maybe i should email the landlord and ask if the previous tenants had the same issue - we have a moisture master and i theorise it shouldn't be that expensive to run - should it?? (the website says no - only 5 - 10cents a day - not sure i believe them)

also exciting - tomorrow is FRIDAY! woohoo! Bring on the weekend, baby!

Happy day number 2

1. What has made me happy: Eating spag bol for dinner, my carefully planned day going swimmingly (v tiring tho. whew.), and looking forward to knitting this evening with a hot water bottle and then an early night. 
2. Created: so far nothing, except a good dinner. Soon i shall have created some stitches. yay.
3. Done for someone else: ummm...a tad stuck on that one. oh yep, it's in my head - i went out of my way for someone. Was at work so can't be too specific...
4. treat: a decent dinner, and making myself walk out of the office at a reasonable time when i could quite easily have stayed much longer. it will still be there tomorrow.
5. No grump: one of the flatties left their bedroom light on, so i very nicely asked them to turn it off, and then explained, again very nicely, that i was a little concerned about what our next powerbill will look like. He then raved about how nice and toasty warm his room his and that he hasn't needed a heater so far at all. ahhh that makes me feel better. Still curious about the cause of last month's mega bill tho...

for some incredibly irritating reason, photos are taking what seems like hours to upload...so no prettiness today...off to knit!

happiness part 1.0

1. What has made me happy today: I am feeling the effects of three glasses of wine, hoki bites and apple berry pie with low fat icecream for dinner. 
2. What I have created today: a full and well rounded day for my boss tomorrow, oh and a great mix cd for this evening's work drinks
3. One thing i have done for someone else today: i sent a love...pdf. mail wasn't fast enough!
4. One thing i have done to treat myself today: i ate pudding for dinner - which i kind of guessed i would do so treated myself to a kebab with green things in it to make up for the fact i haven't been eating very well lately. One actually cannot operate very well on marmite toast alone (even if it is vogels)
5. One thing i stopped myself from getting grumpy about: tomorrow wasn't working out so well, so i walked away, came back to it and found a solution. yahoo!

I am also very very excited about: TV3 filming stitch and bitch tomorrow. i also now have a free-ish evening...shall i risk venturing out? or shall i stick with relative anonymity for awhile longer? Anyone who is crafty-like should definitely go - it's at Cafe Reka at the NewDowse in the Hutt from 6 (i think).

One of my exciting projects is on the go...ohhh i could stay up all night working on it, for sure!

I am also very pleased that a flatmate appears to have had the sense to turn on the dishwasher. Big star for them. Not so big star for the flatmate who has a penchant for filling the freezer with food before using what they already have in there. Going to my happy place. 

right slightly drunk fuelled happy rant over for today. Hello to my lovely friends who all seem to be going to freaking Paris without me ... even it is only on Conitki. 

new leaf, and all that

I have been one grumpy girl of late. Life has been lame. Or at least, my perspective on life has been pretty crap.

So, no more Mr Grumpy Tash. Today is a new day, and even my horoscope says it is so:

You have a very passionate period in store for you, dear Sagittarius, and today is the first day of this kind of renewal in your life. The fire that is burning inside you will melt the ice you have on the outside. All that warmth will make you want to come out of your shell and to share those feelings with others that you are so used to hiding under your stern personality. But that's just a facade you tend to put on with other people. (thanks MSN)

Hmm, stern, yeah that sounds about right. Part of this ice melting stuff, is daily posts on here where I must note the following:

1. What has made me happy today
2. what I have created today
3. One thing I have done for someone else today
4. One thing I have done to treat myself today
5. One thing I stopped myself from getting grumpy about

Five is a good number I think … it is one of my favourites after all. I think I also need to stop putting so much pressure on myself to be ‘doing’ all the time. I need to stop and think more, and also let myself relax. I can’t remember the last time I allowed myself to spend a few hours reading. Knitting is all well and good because I feel like I am doing something, but it means I haven’t read a whole book in over a year. And I love reading.

As it is still early in the day I don’t think I quite have enough material to do my list just yet. But I feel better already. Black Seeds on the radio helps!